Game(rGate) of War: Kate Upton is the Anti-Sarkeesian

It’s time I weigh in a GamerGate a little bit.

This is the live action trailer for a Mobile strategy game. It isn’t the kind of game I’d play now, or back when I played more games. But this trailer really makes me want to play it. Because the trailer knows it’s audience.

The trailer stars Kate Upton.

Yup. That Kate Upton. Probably the most sexually appealing woman in modeling and media today. Sure, she’s criticized for being “skinny-fat” (thin, but not toned). But that’s mainly from degenerate, soddomite men in the high-fashion industry who prefer women with the figure of prepubescent boys. The rest of the Internet couldn’t get enough of her during The Fappening, when a number of celebrity phones were hacked and nude photos of her and other celebrity women were cast across the Interwebs.

She strolls through a battlefield of soldiers having it out. She doesn’t lift a sword. She doesn’t parry a blow. She doesn’t launch an arrow. She was born with her weapons.
Her weapons are her feminine wiles: the ability to use slit in her dress and her bosom. All of which she uses to maximum effectiveness. Far more effective than if she tried to pick up a sword or bow. Her weapon is her influence over the men. The captivating power of her gait to urge them on. When one soldier mounts a ballista, she doesn’t yell (a woman yelling battle commands would be ), but breathes the word “FIRE” into his ear.

She ends the advert beckoning the viewer to “Come play with me.” And what man wouldn’t want to?

This advert probably triggered an aneurism in Anita. It is polarized in a completely opposite phase with what she’d want to see.

This ad demonstrates that there are clearly game developers out there willing to go after the true Gamer audience: Young men.

The quintessential desire they are tapping into is a man’s innate and biological desire to fight FOR a woman. Not to fight against, not to fight alongside, but to fight FOR. If you promise men what they want, they will show up.

Helen of Troy had the face that launched a thousand ships. Men fought for her.

Kate Upton has a face that will launch a thousand downloads. Men will play for her.

A modern Feminist like Anita Sarkeesian, has a face that launched a thousand sluts. And Men won’t fight for them.

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8 Responses to Game(rGate) of War: Kate Upton is the Anti-Sarkeesian

  1. zodak says:

    “This advert probably triggered an aneurism in Anita. It is polarized in a completely opposite phase with what she’d want to see.”

    lol, you can just picture trollkeesian yelling at her monitor when she saw this video! she’s probably hard at work thinking of a tweet to swindle more money out of people by ignoring the fact that kate chose to make this video of her own free will. i’m not a gamer but i’m going to look into this game just to support that company.

  2. trugingstar says:

    Welcome to porn. What do you go by? I will call you R1.

  3. Wolf says:

    “The face that launched a thousand sluts”. So poignant it hurts.

  4. Sunna says:

    Hey, Anita Sarkeesian has a nude pic that leaked too! She just isn’t as pretty (not even close) as Kate Upton, lol Here is the pic (promise, it’s just a pic, no spam) imgur.com/bstmwCL.jpg

  5. carascrows says:

    Some good “Christian man” you are. Calling women ungodly sluts and looking at a topless woman.

  6. Magnus says:

    Unfortunately, Upton’s a coal burner. A shame.

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